goodreads, crazy goodreads

Oh, Goodreads.

If you don’t know, Goodreads is basically an online platform where readers can keep track of books they read and want to read, and rate them, and write reviews, and communicate with other readers and (in some instances) authors. I don’t really hang out there much, but I’ve been poking my nose in a bit over the past few months because SHIT is going DOWN and I love a good train wreck.

It’s pretty much insanity. I’m not going to link to any of the incidents because I don’t want to give any of them more traction, but take my word for it when I say shit is cray cray. Authors have been calling Goodreads reviewers cows and bitches in emails and on Twitter; authors and their friends have been going on massive negative rants on Twitter and blogs about Goodreads and reviewers in general or specific; authors and their agents and their friends have publicly stated they’re going to try to skew review rankings. The list of stupidity pretty much goes on and on.

Dear authors: we remember this shit. Really. I will read any book, regardless of author actions, if it is amazing enough, but if I see you being an asshole I will remember it and I will read your book last and I will get it from a bargain bin because I don’t like giving money to assholes. Especially if you’re an asshole to other bibliophiles. It’s just not cool, guys.

In the name of promoting peace and decreasing stupidity throughout the internet, I offer a few guidelines for the world of online book reviewing. Not all of these are directed at authors.

1. Authors should not comment on reviews of their own books. The only possible exception is to thank the reviewer. But no trying to explain something the reviewer missed, or telling them they’re wrong or missed the point. And no getting your friends to do it for you. You’re not going to convince anyone to change their mind, and you look bad. Just don’t.

2. Authors should not ask their friends to help skew review rankings, either on Goodreads or Amazon or wherever. It’s totally understandable to want to “sink” bad reviews, so that the good reviews are near the top to help sell your book, but ethics aside you don’t want to deal with the public backlash if you’re found out. And seriously, have the sense to not talk about it on Twitter, and be careful with emails. Once you hit “send,” it’s no longer yours.

3. A reviewer not finishing a book does not make that review invalid. I hate when I see people say this. Hate. Basically, the sentiment is “your review is invalid because you didn’t finish the book so you don’t know everything that happened—you can’t judge the entire thing.” Well, no. Not finishing the book is kind of a judgment in itself. If a person dislikes a book enough that they stop reading, what happens at the end does not matter because the rest of the book wasn’t strong enough to carry the reader to the end. I want to stop seeing this argument.

4. No personal attacks, by reviewers or authors. File under: be nice on the internet. (Or, you know, everywhere.) Just don’t be that person.

Basically, it all boils down to this: authors, don’t shit on reviewers. Reviewers aren’t simply book-lovers (i.e., the target audience of an author), they’re hardcore book-lovers, they’re people who love books enough that they want to critique them and analyze them and talk about them with their friends. They’re the book-lovers other book-lovers look to for guidance. And they will remember.

OUT TUESDAY: Zombie Tag, by Hannah Moskowitz

Hannah is one of my biffers, and I’m thrilled to help spread the word about her newest book, Zombie Tag. It hits shelves tomorrow, Tuesday December 20, and it is a pretty awesome piece of MG fiction. (MG is just a label—you bet your boots I’m planning to read it.)

You may recall, last year, I presented the rules for the game of zombie tag (click to refresh your memory). That game plays a major role in the book, aside from just giving it a title, but the book is so much more. Here’s the blurb:

Wil is desperate for his older brother to come back from the dead. But the thing about zombies is . . they don’t exactly make the best siblings.

Thirteen-year-old Wil Lowenstein copes with his brother’s death by focusing on Zombie Tag, a mafia/capture the flag hybrid game where he and his friends fight off brain-eating zombies with their mothers’ spatulas. What Wil doesn’t tell anybody is that if he could bring his dead brother back as a zombie, he would in a heartbeat. But when Wil finds a way to summon all the dead within five miles, he’s surprised to discover that his back-from-the-dead brother is emotionless and distant.

In her first novel for younger readers, Moskowitz offers a funny and heartfelt look at how one boy deals with change, loss, and the complicated relationship between brothers.

Doesn’t that sound awesome? Yes, yes it does.

Check out Hannah’s blog here. This link goes to Zombie Tag on Amazon, but I obviously encourage you to buy it at your local bookstore.

what I’m reading this month: A Need So Beautiful by Suzanne Young

My friends keep writing books that make me cry.

Bitches.

This month’s culprit is Suzanne Young, with her new novel A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL. Here’s the blurb:

We all want to be remembered. Charlotte’s destiny is to be Forgotten…

Charlotte’s best friend thinks Charlotte might be psychic. Her boyfriend thinks she’s cheating on him. But Charlotte knows what’s really wrong: She is one of the Forgotten, a kind of angel on earth, who feels the Need—a powerful, uncontrollable draw to help someone, usually a stranger.

But Charlotte never wanted this responsibility. What she wants is to help her best friend, whose life is spiraling out of control. She wants to lie in her boyfriend’s arms forever. But as the Need grows stronger, it begins to take a dangerous toll on Charlotte. And who she was, is, and will become–her mark on this earth, her very existence–is in jeopardy of disappearing completely.

Charlotte will be forced to choose: Should she embrace her fate as a Forgotten, a fate that promises to rip her from the lives of those she loves forever? Or is she willing to fight against her destiny–no matter how dark the consequences?

I can say without any spoilers that it is an extremely touching story that left me blubbery. Suzanne makes you truly feel and understand the characters, and Charlotte’s relationships with her BFF, her boyfriend, and her family are beautifully and believably portrayed. I felt like I was reading about real people.

So check it out! A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL is simply a wonderful, wonderful book, and I cannot wait for the sequel.

miles and miles and miles of heaaaart

Hi! I have a giant inflatable heart. Head included for scale. Yes, I need a haircut.

Courtesy of Chuck Palahniuk, who gives possibly the best author reading I’ve ever been to. Overly tired right now, but I’ll probably do a post proper on Chuck P tomorrow or sometime.

awesome things happening to awesome people

These two weeks belong to my dear friend Suzanne Young. First, BIG NEWS #1:

Suzanne Young’s A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL, in which a 17-year-old discovers that by performing the good deeds that her body compels her to, she will disappear into the Light and be forgotten, but by fighting “the Need,” her fate could be even more dire, to Donna Bray at Balzer and Bray, in a two-book deal, in a pre-empt, by Jim McCarthy at Dystel & Goderich Literary Management (World English).

And IN BIG NEWS #2, 8 days from now her debut novel, The Naughty List, is released! (BUY HERE)

You know how people always say, “This really couldn’t have happened to a nicer person?” IN THIS CASE IT IS TRUE.

Congratulations, Suz! You deserve every bit of this.

COMING TOMORROW: A CHANCE TO WIN A SIGNED COPY OF THE NAUGHTY LIST RIGHT HERE AT GRACETOPIA!! Stay tuned.

win a book!

Mi amiga Suzanne the Fabulous is giving away her book THE NAUGHTY LIST, plus a goodie bag! Check it out!

the super-duper YA book giveaway

I’m going to be occupied with family adventures and responsibilities this week, but I thought I’d give you all something to do while I’m gone: WIN BOOKS!

But not just any books. No. This week you get a chance to win 3 books written by 3 of my very good friends, all debut authors within the past year. (The first from last December, the latest from… today, with Cindy snuggled in the middle.)

That’s Break by Hannah Moskowitz, Silver Phoenix by Cindy Pon, and Handcuffs by Bethany Griffin. They’re all very different YA books, but they’re all very good, and YOU KNOW YOU WANT THEM. (Click the titles for descriptions/reviews in case you aren’t sure why you want them.)

Since there are three books this time I’m going to make winning them sliiiiightly more difficult than previous giveaways, but only slightly:

TO WIN:

What is the last book you read, and do you give it a thumbs-up or thumbs-down?

Please post your answer in the comments section below.

The contest will be open for one week; in other words I will choose a winner on… Tuesday September 1st! What a great way to start the month.

In case you still aren’t sure if you want these books, look how pretty they will be on your shelf:

Monkey and hockey puck not included. Have at!

(psst–I’m paying postage! you no longer have any excuses.)

(pssst 2–these aren’t my copies that I’m giving away, obv.)

drumroll please…

I would like to hereby announce the upcoming publication of Break by the absolutely amazing debut author Hannah Awesomesauce Moskowitz.

Jonah is on a mission to break every bone in his body. Everyone knows that broken bones grow back stronger than they were before, and Jonah wants to be stronger—needs to be stronger—because everything around him is falling apart. Breaking, and then healing, is Jonah’s only way to cope with the stresses of home, girls, and the world on his shoulders. This is the story of his self-destructive spiral, his rock-bottom moment, and how he finally learns to accept help and find true strength through recovery.

The book doesn’t “officially” come out until Tuesday, but it’s available now at Barnes and Noble, amazon, and other fine booksellers near you. And if it’s not, you should request they order it, and then you should buy it. It’s so good. I mean, let’s just start at the beginning, shall we:

The first feeling is exhilaration.

My arms hit the ground. The sound is like a mallet against a crab.

Pure fucking exhilaration.

How can you not want to read a book that starts like that?

Don’t just take my word for it. Hannah’s getting awesome reviews left and right. So get thyself to a bookstore.

Sense and Sensibility and…

So um yeah. You may recall that I was pretty excited about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the recent(ish) mash-up of two of my favorite things: Jane Austen and zombies. I bought it but haven’t read it yet (it’s glaring at me from here); I remember finding the first page a bit clunky, which turned it from a “read immediately” book to a “get around to it eventually” book.

Which is a shame, because I really like the new Jane Austen mash-up genre, in theory.

Which is good, because Quirk Books is publishing another one:

The next big thing?

Book Review: Silver Phoenix by Cindy Pon

A couple of months ago (May, to be exact) my friend Cindy Pon published her debut YA novel, Silver Phoenix. It took me this long to get around to reading it, because I am a bad friend. But it was totally worth the wait.

At seventeen, Ai Ling should be married, or at least betrothed. But nobody wants her. A free spirit in a land of order and restriction, she almost prefers it that way, except for the shame it brings to her family. Soon, though, she has bigger problems than her social status: her father goes missing and she begins to realize she has a power that she doesn’t understand.

Thus begins Ai Ling’s quest, a quest to find her father and herself.

Aiding her on this journey is Chen Yong, a half-foreigner with major problems of his own, and Chen Yong’s charming, womanizing younger brother Li Rong, as well as a host of other characters. The story is a basic quest/journey tale, but set in a land of such wonder and mystery that you cannot help but be enthralled. Ai Ling meets gods and monsters, some of them in human form, finally arriving at the Emperor’s Palace to battle perhaps the worst of them all: the one that loves her.

The book is just… beautiful. It is breathtakingly beautiful. Cindy also does some fabulous brush paintings, and reading this book was sometimes like looking at one of her paintings. You can see her artist’s eye in the description, even in the language itself. The book also made me incredibly hungry. The food Ai Ling consumes is described in such loving, delectable detail that I could almost smell it wafting from the pages. Cindy is welcome to invite me to her house for dinner anytime. ;)

Anyway, a great book; you can order it here and I highly recommend you do so.

On another note, I have decided that Hayao Miyazaki (Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, etc.) needs to be in charge of the movie version of this book, and he needs to get on it stat. It has the kinds of mysterious creatures he specializes in, and the type of strong heroine he appreciates, and the sense of wonder that he is a master of. Really. Miyazaki, get to work.

To end, one of Cindy’s paintings:

The disclaimer: I feel like I always need to add this when I review a friend’s book, even though I’m probably just being silly. Yes I know Cindy, but that did not in any way influence the writing of this review. Except possibly for the part where I invited myself over to her house.