because I know you all like to laugh with me, not at me

I am a clumsy, accident-prone person. See: last Halloween, when I tripped and landed on my face, or my recently dislocated kneecap, which I acquired while sitting on the couch.

I am now in PT to fix my knee so I can run again and things were going swimmingly until…

dun dun DUN

So last Saturday was “Grace cleans all the things” day. This included my bedroom where, lurking under some laundry, I found a hair dryer. This hair dryer has been on my floor for approximately six months, since whenever I cut my hair off, and I thought this was a good time to finally put it somewhere that wasn’t my floor. So I picked up the hair dryer, put it on the top shelf of my closet, and turned away to go about my business.

BIG MISTAKE.

Representative image of evil hair dryer.

The hair dryer fell off the top shelf and landed on my left foot—but wait, it gets better. It landed prongs-first, and then the hair dryer body HIT the plug, driving the prongs farther into my foot like some sort of vindictive, hair-stylin’ pile driver. WHAT the FUCK. This does not happen to normal people. Does it?

Five days later, my foot still hurts. I’m limping and icing like it’s going out of style. According to the PT (the one fixing my knee), I have ended up with what appears to be a bone bruise. From a hair dryer.

It’s okay to laugh. Everyone else has.

Signs of the Times

From yesterday’s National Equality March in DC. All these photos were taken by Scott Shrake; original post here. The Jesus sign above is by far my favorite; the following are all pretty good too.

I want to be the shape-shifting female assasin

I do love Wondermark. Today: a fiction generator! (original here if you can’t read below)

And more than I love Wondermark, I love the internet. Because that comic was published… yesterday? I think, and already an actual generator has been produced. A couple, actually. But Malki! declared this one his favorite, and it is pretty damn good. And hugely entertaining. Have fun!

doing my part for the economy

So these are like the worst pictures known to man, but I just wanted to share with y’all what I did with my day. Spend money, basically. On shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.

just some basic, gray, functional boots. no really, they're functional. I swear.

couldn't get enough light to show the purple without putting my foot up on the wall. but oh they're purple and fab.

these are so amazing. I love them I may just wear them all the time, even when I'm asleep.

black! buckles!

And yes those are my huge fat calves. There’s a fifth pair of boots I would have purchased if they’d been able to zip up around my legs. Grrrrr. C’mon people, design knee-high boots that FIT me dammit.

mish-mash muddle

Hi! I’m here! Been busy this past week, what with work craziness and friend awesomeness. So a quick catch-up of my recent activities and ponderings.

So. Bullet points, methinks? Why yes please.

• On Kanye: I’m with O’Bama here, what a jackass. I don’t care if you’re drunk, I don’t care if you haven’t recovered from your mother’s death (I mean I do, but dude take some time off, nobody will blame you, and stop using it as an excuse) but you don’t have to ruin the girl’s moment. On the other hand and also, I’m tired of hearing about it. I’ve enjoyed its week of press, but enough is enough. Move on.
• On Joe Wilson: Okay so maybe I’m an insensitive bigot, but could everyone just chill the fuck out, please? Telling the President he’s a liar is okay. No, really. I personally think O’Bama is the shit, but if we can’t call our politicians out when we think they’re wrong, what’s the point? Sure it’s disrespectful. Wilson didn’t mean to be respectful. He doesn’t like our President. And that’s okay.
  Of course, if he doesn’t like our president because our President is black, as some people are saying, that is not okay. I haven’t really looked into Wilson’s past—he’s a Republican from South Carolina, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But even if he were a card-carrying member of the KKK, those two words—”you lie”—don’t reflect that at all. They’re just rude and ill-timed and my god people get over it already.
  Devil’s Advocate, that’s me.
• 9: Don’t go see this movie. It does not live up to expectations at ALL, and I was really expecting it to be good. It’s really really pretty, and if you have to see it, definitely see it on the big screen, but ugh plot wtf. It’s taken Harry Potter and Star Wars elements and squished them all together with the apocolypse. Things are not explained, things are weird, dialogue is blah, it’s just a total ugh.
• One of my bffs just moved to New York City and I am sooooo jealous of him. Haha I just called him a bff. I hope he properly appreciates it.
• I would not make a good politician’s wife, because I don’t know how to tie a tie. (Currently watching Brotherhood.)
• 
  RIP, babe. I’ll miss you.

coming at you live from the couch

Labor Day! 1pm and I’m still in my pajamas! Sitting in the living room with the kitty watching America’s Next Top Model and eating ice cream. Om. Love holidays.

So, it’s been a while since I posted anything of substance; mother and brother were here for a week, so I was doing familial things. Technically the brother is still here, he’s going to college down the street, but he’s a busy and important student now and doesn’t have time for me.

So here’s a post of… some substance? I haven’t really done anything substantial recently. Saw Star Trek again… um yeah.

Went and saw Motörhead last night. I didn’t have quite as much fun as I usually do at concerts because when I got there (er, 7:30ish?) I was still hungover from the previous night’s shenanigans. Yeah… So I got some water and Red Bull from the bar, but the sight of alcohol made me kind of gag, so not only was I sleep-deprived and with an already pounding head when the music started, I was sober through the entire thing. Interesting experience. But mmm death metal != world’s best hangover cure. I mean, it was fun. I enjoyed the music. I didn’t enjoy being hit on by sketchy 40-year-olds, but whatever. It happens. But yeah. My poor head.

I also decided that I feel safest at metal concerts. Like, I was noticing how scary everyone was—all the death metal boys with their plugged ears and their walls of tattoos and all the girls with their ox-nose piercings (wtf? people this is NOT a hot piercing). And then I realized that if there was a sudden disaster, like a zombie attack or something, these were the people I wanted with me. I mean, dude. Nobody’s going to fuck with a thousand metalheads. They will take your ass down.

Pretty sure I haven’t really done anything else of note the past couple of weeks. Definitely haven’t written anything.

Hm. Oh there was a book I was going to review but I’ve forgotten now.

bring out your dead!

If someone were to set out to make my ideal movie, they would probably include some or all of the following:

vampires

zombies

Victorian England

gothic horror

bizarre comedy

graverobbers

Dominic Monaghan

BUT WAIT!!! WHAT HAVE WE HERE????

When I walked by the poster at the fabulous-go-there-if-you’re-in-Cambridge Brattle Theatre (a different poster than this one, but the same general theme) I did a double-take because I saw Merry’s fa–Dominic Monaghan’s face. And then I realized what was going on and just about died right there. Vampires. Zombies. Victorian England. My God. Someone read my mind and made a movie from what they found.

So I went to see it last night and I loved it.

I mean, let’s be honest, it’s not going to win any Oscars, but it doesn’t take itself too seriously and it’s just bad enough to be good. It’s bizarre, oddball, and wonderful. Obviously low-budget. There’s some beautiful animation interspersed; sometimes shots would just end and turn into artwork, kind of looking like a graphic novel. The plot is pretty simple, and uh big plot twist for the duh? But I was entertained.

So if you get a chance, go see this quirky little horror flick. Click here to find out when it’s coming to a theater near you.

the super-duper YA book giveaway

I’m going to be occupied with family adventures and responsibilities this week, but I thought I’d give you all something to do while I’m gone: WIN BOOKS!

But not just any books. No. This week you get a chance to win 3 books written by 3 of my very good friends, all debut authors within the past year. (The first from last December, the latest from… today, with Cindy snuggled in the middle.)

That’s Break by Hannah Moskowitz, Silver Phoenix by Cindy Pon, and Handcuffs by Bethany Griffin. They’re all very different YA books, but they’re all very good, and YOU KNOW YOU WANT THEM. (Click the titles for descriptions/reviews in case you aren’t sure why you want them.)

Since there are three books this time I’m going to make winning them sliiiiightly more difficult than previous giveaways, but only slightly:

TO WIN:

What is the last book you read, and do you give it a thumbs-up or thumbs-down?

Please post your answer in the comments section below.

The contest will be open for one week; in other words I will choose a winner on… Tuesday September 1st! What a great way to start the month.

In case you still aren’t sure if you want these books, look how pretty they will be on your shelf:

Monkey and hockey puck not included. Have at!

(psst–I’m paying postage! you no longer have any excuses.)

(pssst 2–these aren’t my copies that I’m giving away, obv.)

a how-to video that will change your life

no really would I lie to you?

today in Gracetopia

Currently playing the Star Wars drinking game. :) This is the game where I watch all three movies back-to-back-to-back and drink. I don’t drink to specific rules (“Drink whenever C-3PO gives a statistic” or “Drink whenever anyone says ‘May the Force be with you’” etc.), I just drink whenever the situation seems to require it. Whenever a major character is introduced, whenever one of the famous lines happens, whenever a line I recognize happens (and since I’ve seen the trilogy like 500 times, this is frequent), whenever the droids make me laugh, whenever Han is a charming cocky asshole… so basically non-stop, I guess.

The great thing about this game is that by the time you get to Return of the Jedi you’re so drunk you barely notice that the Ewoks are there.