John Carter OF MARS

So, last weekend I went to see JOHN CARTER. Not many people did. It’s getting mediocre reviews and nobody really seems to know what it’s about. HOWEVER. It was totally worth it. If you want a beautiful, exciting sci-fi adventure story with a dash of steampunkery and a dash of Victoriana, you should go see it too. (I realize that I just described my dream movie, so I may be a little biased, but seriously. You should go.)

Also, Taylor Kitsch spends most of the movie shirtless.

The movie is not perfect. It gets a bit exposition-heavy, it takes a little while for all the different stories to wind together into the main narrative, the Big Bads are not as complex or interesting as one might hope. But the rest of the film is entertaining enough that I am willing to overlook some misses. The movie is just—fun. It is fun the way a pulpy book movie should be. It’s not dark and heavy and trying to be anything it’s not. It’s the story of a Hero with a capital H and a beautiful Science Princess Warrior and saving the world and an oversized six-legged dog who is cuter than he has any right to be. Overall it’s a great ride, an exciting journey that I’m excited to experience again and again.

So why is it doing so poorly in theaters? This article from the New York Times gives some very interesting background on the behind-the-scenes workings of the film’s production. After some false starts, it was finally produced by Disney and directed by long-time JC fan Andrew Stanton (you may have heard of two of his other films, Wall-E and Finding Nemo). What I find most fascinating is that Stanton had a heavy hand in how the movie was marketed, which is in my (humble) opinion the movie’s main misstep. I was only at JC because some friends of mine were like NO WE ARE GOING TRUST USSSSS. (Note to self: trust friends.) The previews made JC look like another Rock (sorry Dwayne Johnson) vehicle, or something akin to 300 or Clash of Titans or any other movie that is just half-dressed men swinging swords at each other. Which… isn’t completely accurate. Yes, there’s shirtless sword- and gun-fighting, but there’s a lot more, too. A few shots of Princess Dejah Thoris kicking ass with her sword or the steampunky machines that fly with solar power would have helped, or even just some shots of the cities to show how rich and gorgeous Mars/Barsoom is. You can tell watching the film that there is tons material supporting it (like, maybe, ten books), and that doesn’t come through in the previews. It’s just a desert.

Anyway, the marketing has been marketed and there’s not much to be done about that now. The upshot is, this movie is so much cooler than the previews make it look and you should totally give it a chance. Trust me. TRUST JOHN CARTER. Dejah Thoris trusts John Carter. You should too.

Frankly, lots of people don't wear shirts in this movie. Important facts brought to you by gracetopia.

Captain America, hells yeah

Purely by chance, I ended up at the midnight showing of Captain America in downtown Boston last night.

Purely by chance, so did my younger brother. Perhaps we are related, after all.

Before I start my review, I will sum up my knowledge of Captain America so that you understand where I am coming from: 1) he is patriotic 2) he has a shield 3) he has a sidekick name Bucky—which I only know thanks to recent trips to Target’s action figures aisle. So yes, I come from a world of darkness.

And into the light. Because Captain America was COOL.

It was funny. It was pretty. It was dramatic. It worked. It worked as both a movie and a comic book movie.

It starts, of course, with the origin story. Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is a scrawny, chronically ill Brooklyn-ite who wants to join the army. He wants to join the army so badly he’s tried 5 times. But then he meets Dr. Abraham Erksine (Stanley Tucci), who sees in Steve the qualities that make not a soldier, but a hero. This is exactly what Dr. Erksine is looking for, because has the serum to make the hero into a supersoldier.

Meanwhile Agent Smith crazy Nazi Dr. Schmidt (Hugo Weaving) is trying to harness the power of the gods to take over the world, not for Hitler but for his own “scientific” organization called Hydra.

Because that always works.

This is one of those movies where there’s so much cool stuff happening I don’t want to spoil anything. It’s not really a question of plot—it’s a very formulaic superhero plot, you won’t really be shocked by anything. But there’s just so many cool things going on. Like a chorus line Captain America. *zips lips*

Suffice to say that after a brief stint as a media consultant, Steve Rogers aka Captain America charges into Nazi territory to save the world. And he kicks ass, and he takes names.

The movie was put together superbly, from the actors to the costume design to the general milieu. Tommy Lee Jones plays Tommy Lee Jones, which he does quite well. Chris Evans is both an excellent scrawny Steve and an excellent ripped Cap. The 1940s sets and costumes and atmosphere were dead on and oh-so-pretty. I love a good 40s setting.

And there are so many little things in this movie, from an Indiana Jones reference to a quick nod to Dr. Arnim Zola’s future as a robot. (<—why I go to these things with the comic geek BF) Everyone freaked out when Bucky picked up the shield. I think a true Cap geek would find a lot of little hidden treasures.

So, yes, I love the movie. A few minor plot quibbles (“so wait, how did she know—nevermind…”) but it was an awesome ride and the time flew by.

Finally, one kind of major point: Captain America is the first of the comic book movies that has made me want to read the related comics. X-Men, well, I already loved the X-Men. Thor, eh. Batman, eh. But in Captain America there was a whole montage sequence that showed Cap and his team going on dozens of missions—and I want to know what they are. His team looks like fun, and I love the character and setting. I want more.

However, having read the new Captain America issue #1 that came out last week or whenever… I was unimpressed. Marvel, if you’re going to make an awesome movie, you should make sure you’re supporting it with an awesome book.

Because, yeah, awesome move. Go see it.

EDIT: and it probably goes without saying for a Marvel movie but stay through the credits.

so much dracula, so much boob

I watched like 8 hours of Dracula yesterday. Because I am AWESOME.

Also, because I bought a Christopher Lee fourpack at Target last week and it was dying to be watched. I mean, come on, the 4th one was called Dracula: A.D. 1972. That could not set on my shelf unwatched for long.

And really, I think these four Dracula movies can be summed up with one word:

BOOBS

The first one (Horror of Dracula) was a pretty ordinary Dracula, style-wise. I mean, they pretty much took the plot, put it in a blender, and poured the smoothie onto film. For instance, Harker was engaged to be married to someone named Lucy Holmwood, who is (I think) the sister of Mina and Arthur Holmwood (although those two may be married, I’m not really sure). But, yeah. There was blood, garlic, Peter Cushing as Van Helsing—pretty ordinary Dracula.

But then.

We move into Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (tagline: “You just can’t keep a good man down!”) which was a lovely little film that begins with a girl hanging upside down, covered in blood, and showing about as much boob as was legal at that time. From then on, the movies just turn into a boobfest. Never any nipple, but… yeah. So much tit action.

There was a point, near the beginning of the third movie (Taste the Blood of Dracula), when I thought, “ah, we’ve returned to a simpler, boob-free time,” but then OH NO! our heroes visit a brothel.

And then, well yeah, the 4th movie is set in the ’70s. That’s really all you need to know.

They were pretty fantastic, not gonna lie.

I love my life.

ZOMBIE. LAND.

Saw this movie last night and oh MY god I could not stop laughing.

Go see this movie. No, really, I don’t care what else you may have to do, cancel things and go see this movie.

Or else Woody Harrelson will banjo your ass to death.

And you don’t want that.

movie review: The Dark Knight

Yes, this review is waaaay out of date (from the blog cleanup I’m doing), but I want to keep it around so here we go. Originally from blogger gracetopia.

~

Introducing… a movie about the Joker with appearances by that bat guy.

So, um, yes. The Dark Knight is pretty much worth exactly as much hype as it has received.

It is mislabeled, however. It is less a Batman movie than a movie of Gotham City and of madness. Batman gets no more screen time than Gary Oldman’s Detective Gordon and much less than the star of the show, Heath Ledger’s Joker. This makes the movie stronger, though, as it interweaves the story of Batman with the story of the city he protects, and explores the effect that protection has on both the city and the man behind the mask.

But let’s get to everyone’s main question.

It seems a shame that discussion of this movie is going to always end and begin with Heath Ledger, because there is so much more to the film—on the other hand, this is one of those roles that is going to go down in history. Heath Ledger’s Joker. Like Hannibal Lecter or Norman Bates, this is going to be a villain people talk about for a long time. Ledger played him so beautifully mad, I was transfixed every moment he was onscreen. He made the pure madness of the character plausible and enjoyable.

The main plotline is—well, chaotic. The Joker is mad. He does mad things. There seems to be reason behind it, but then there doesn’t, and then there does again. Batman tries to stop him and gets a new suit. A lot of bodies fly—I lost track of how many cops are killed. Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) shows up and may be the answer Batman is looking for—a White Knight to take over his duties, to give Batman a chance to be Bruce and live happily ever after with Rachel (a role taken over by Maggie Gyllenhaal). (which I almost spelled properly without IMDb.)

Let me give you a hint: it doesn’t work.

The Dark Knight is dark. You thought Batman Begins was dark, you ain’t seen nothing yet. TDK is a study of insanity and desire and fear, Batman’s and the Joker’s and the city’s. The writers tear apart everything these characters hold dear (and Gotham is very much a character) and lets them loose to pick up the pieces as best they can. Batman and Gotham and the Joker–and all the other characters–are pushed to their limits and back again. It is almost painful to watch sometimes, but so riveting.

It is hard to call out actors for commendation because everyone was so good across the board. Maggie Gyllenhaal wasn’t quite as young and perky a Rachel as Katie Holmes was, which is probably a good thing; her world-weary edge fit this new movie. Gary Oldman, as usual, just showed up and increased the fabulous factor of the movie by about 100%. Aaron Eckhart didn’t have as much to work with character-wise but did a good job with it. And even Christian Bale didn’t bother me as much as he usually does, though his “raspy voice” thing did get old after a while.

TDK wasn’t all made of perfection, though. The body count was ridiculously high, even for me, and some of the technological whizzies were over-the-top in a “really? are you sure about that?” kind of way. Really a lot of the movie was just unreasonable. Way too many times a car flipped over and someone important just strolled out of the wreckage. And–don’t want to give anything away—but the shiny gidget at the end—wtf? And I began to get antsy towards the end—there were a lot of storylines, and they were all tied up more-or-less cleanly, but there was a while there when I was a bit bouncy.

Also, I don’t know if it’s just me, but about half a dozen of their “wow, plot twist!” things totally weren’t twisting me. Didn’t really detract from the movie, though, and it was funny to watch the rest of the audience’s shock when—well, you’ll see.

Also, Cillian Murphy was only in the movie for a grand total of 5 seconds, which was unfortunate.

But overall, complete wowness. What a ride.

mish-mash muddle

Hi! I’m here! Been busy this past week, what with work craziness and friend awesomeness. So a quick catch-up of my recent activities and ponderings.

So. Bullet points, methinks? Why yes please.

• On Kanye: I’m with O’Bama here, what a jackass. I don’t care if you’re drunk, I don’t care if you haven’t recovered from your mother’s death (I mean I do, but dude take some time off, nobody will blame you, and stop using it as an excuse) but you don’t have to ruin the girl’s moment. On the other hand and also, I’m tired of hearing about it. I’ve enjoyed its week of press, but enough is enough. Move on.
• On Joe Wilson: Okay so maybe I’m an insensitive bigot, but could everyone just chill the fuck out, please? Telling the President he’s a liar is okay. No, really. I personally think O’Bama is the shit, but if we can’t call our politicians out when we think they’re wrong, what’s the point? Sure it’s disrespectful. Wilson didn’t mean to be respectful. He doesn’t like our President. And that’s okay.
  Of course, if he doesn’t like our president because our President is black, as some people are saying, that is not okay. I haven’t really looked into Wilson’s past—he’s a Republican from South Carolina, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But even if he were a card-carrying member of the KKK, those two words—”you lie”—don’t reflect that at all. They’re just rude and ill-timed and my god people get over it already.
  Devil’s Advocate, that’s me.
• 9: Don’t go see this movie. It does not live up to expectations at ALL, and I was really expecting it to be good. It’s really really pretty, and if you have to see it, definitely see it on the big screen, but ugh plot wtf. It’s taken Harry Potter and Star Wars elements and squished them all together with the apocolypse. Things are not explained, things are weird, dialogue is blah, it’s just a total ugh.
• One of my bffs just moved to New York City and I am sooooo jealous of him. Haha I just called him a bff. I hope he properly appreciates it.
• I would not make a good politician’s wife, because I don’t know how to tie a tie. (Currently watching Brotherhood.)
• 
  RIP, babe. I’ll miss you.

bring out your dead!

If someone were to set out to make my ideal movie, they would probably include some or all of the following:

vampires

zombies

Victorian England

gothic horror

bizarre comedy

graverobbers

Dominic Monaghan

BUT WAIT!!! WHAT HAVE WE HERE????

When I walked by the poster at the fabulous-go-there-if-you’re-in-Cambridge Brattle Theatre (a different poster than this one, but the same general theme) I did a double-take because I saw Merry’s fa–Dominic Monaghan’s face. And then I realized what was going on and just about died right there. Vampires. Zombies. Victorian England. My God. Someone read my mind and made a movie from what they found.

So I went to see it last night and I loved it.

I mean, let’s be honest, it’s not going to win any Oscars, but it doesn’t take itself too seriously and it’s just bad enough to be good. It’s bizarre, oddball, and wonderful. Obviously low-budget. There’s some beautiful animation interspersed; sometimes shots would just end and turn into artwork, kind of looking like a graphic novel. The plot is pretty simple, and uh big plot twist for the duh? But I was entertained.

So if you get a chance, go see this quirky little horror flick. Click here to find out when it’s coming to a theater near you.

today in Gracetopia

Currently playing the Star Wars drinking game. :) This is the game where I watch all three movies back-to-back-to-back and drink. I don’t drink to specific rules (“Drink whenever C-3PO gives a statistic” or “Drink whenever anyone says ‘May the Force be with you’” etc.), I just drink whenever the situation seems to require it. Whenever a major character is introduced, whenever one of the famous lines happens, whenever a line I recognize happens (and since I’ve seen the trilogy like 500 times, this is frequent), whenever the droids make me laugh, whenever Han is a charming cocky asshole… so basically non-stop, I guess.

The great thing about this game is that by the time you get to Return of the Jedi you’re so drunk you barely notice that the Ewoks are there.

gimme a v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n

I really should be packing now, since I’m flying away to Minnesota tomorrow. But I am not. Instead I am drinking beer and faffing around on facebook and other such productive things. I can’t even say I’m doing laundry, since I think I just heard the washing machine stop. So. Time for a bullet-point post, methinks.

• First and most importantly, if you’re in Boston this weekend you should go see Rosencranz and Guildenstern Are Dead in Cambridge. It’s being put on by Bad Habit Productions and is playing at a YMCA on Mass Ave just off of Central Square. Seriously. It is an amazing production. I love the play, I think I’d rank it at least in my Top 10 plays of all time, if not Top 5, and this production was fantastifabulous. R and G and the Player were all SPOT ON, and the troupe of players (don’t remember what they’re actually called…) were all wonderful as well. I didn’t like the King and Queen so much, but everyone else made up for it. Really, a fantastic show. I was so sad that the audience was so small when I went to see it on Saturday. SO GO SEE IT THIS WEEKEND.
• I sort of accidentally saw Harry Potter last week. I think I’ve now actually seen most of them in theaters, even though I never really want to… seeing as I don’t so much like the books… but my friends were going and I’m nothing if not a follower. So we went, and since all I really remembered was the Big Ending (which I mentioned, thereby spoiling it for one of my friends, but I didn’t think it was a secret anymore? but anyway I’m not going to mention it here.) but yeah I didn’t remember any of the smaller plot points so it was almost like watching a fresh story. I actually enjoyed it. Yanno, for Harry Potter. But I’m not going to recommend it, just on principle.
• So Tuesday morning I woke up and went to my computer and I had a google calendar alert thing informing me that I was going to a concert that night at the House of Blues. The Eagles of Death Metal, who I had never heard of. I checked my stash of tickets and sure enough there it was. This isn’t totally out of the ordinary, I love live music and tend to buy tickets to bands I’ve never heard of if the first one or two things I find on youtube is good. I decided not to remind myself who they were (I figured I’d investigated when I got the ticket and liked them, so I shouldn’t be too worried) so I just went to the concert cold. No idea what to expect.And you may recall my discomfort with the Tracy Chapman crowd? And how old and/or obnoxious and/or generally odd they all were? Well I walked into EoDM and was faced with a sea of mostly men in jeans and dark shirts, covered in tattoos and piercings. “Yessss,” I thought. “This is my crowd. I know what to do with this.”

  The show was great. EoDM isn’t actually a death metal band, which was fine with me. Good solid little rock band. Lots of fun. And they were superb performers. They all—the lead singer especially—treated the audience like it was the greatest audience they had ever performed for. It was so so so much fun.

  Which brings me to my final note of that evening. I went alone, which I usually do, and I was drinking (not excessively, really) and dancing my heart out and just generally having a blast, and apparently people noticed… Not one, no, not one but two different men commented afterwards that I had obviously had an awesome time. One of them accosted me by saying, “Hey Party Girl!” So… yeah. Just call me Party Girl. Apparently my reputation in this town is growing.

• Someone outside my window is really pissed off and yelling…
• I hit myself in the side of the head this morning (don’t ask) and my tragus piercing pushed all the way through the hole and popped out. When I stopped by the piercing place after work (conveniently located within sight of my apartment) the hole was already so healed she had to stretch the hole to get the post in.* WTF, ear. Chill the fuck out.
• It turns out I have a 35-minute layover in Atlanta, so hopefully I catch my second flight tomorrow…
• Which brings me full circle to the packing thing. Okay. Here I go. Don’t expect much bloggyness for the next week or so.

*Do with that phrase what you will…

alice in burtonland

So what do you think?

Some people I know think it’s too CGI-heavy, but that doesn’t really bother me since it seems to be well-done. I’m concerned by how Depp-centric it seems and that it may just end up being a darker version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

We’ll see!