Goodbye, James

I’m working to arrange my friend’s memorial for this weekend. I still can’t articulate a proper goodbye, so I’m just going to keep busy for the next few weeks and try to get through this. Thanks to the people who have reached out to me, I really appreciate it.

this week can go fuck itself

Excuse my language.

My grandmother died last weekend.  She has been suffering from Alzheimer’s for 10 or so years, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected but was still sudden. I’ve already kind of mourned for her once, since she hasn’t been the same Grandma for many years, but that doesn’t really make it any easier.

And now one of my friends is in the hospital and will probably be taken off life support in the very near future.

So yeah. This nightmare can end whenever.

Disney World Report, Part 2: THE TOP TEN

Because ranking things is fun, here are my top ten rides at Disney World. YMMV.

10. Mad Hatter’s Teacups. I adore the teacups. I always have. I don’t know. I know it’s a dumb, simple little ride compared to all the other shenanigans going on at Disney World, but I love it okay? Okay.

9. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Choo choooo! A pretty tame roller coaster, no huge drops or anything crazy, but it’s so intricately themed. It’s really quite amazing how much detail Disney puts into everything.

8. Kilimanjaro Safari. Are we allowed to count the safari as a “ride?” My list, I say yes. I truly dislike the fakey “omg poachers!” story that they add in, but dude you get to see lions and cheetahs and BABY ELEPHANTS.

7. Pirates of the Carribbean. This is one of those rides where there is so much going on that you really need to do it a couple of times. Some gorgeous, gorgeous tableaus of pirates doing piratey things like attacking cities and selling women and getting cats drunk. Totally reminds you that OH HEY pirates were/are actually the bad guys.

6. Mt. Everest. Or whatever it’s called. The new roller coaster in Animal Kingdom. I prefer kinda mid-intensity roller coasters (between like Big Thunder (low) and Space Mountain (high)) and this one was perfect. And it goes BACKWARDS. In the DARK. And there’s a YETI. Protip: Get in the first car if you can. It totally makes a difference in this ride, which is kind of annoying, but there’s one point where the front few cars get an awesome view that nobody else does.

5. Mission: Space (Orange). Or, as I liked to call it, Mission: Sinise. Under the guidance of the renowned astronaut Gary Sinise, you get to go in a spaceship to Mars. It pretty much rocks. There’s a “less intense option” (green instead of orange) that I guess involves less spinning, but I went balls-out into the more intense ride and didn’t regret it a bit.

4. Peter Pan’s Flight. Very simple, very gorgeous. The Peter Pan film retold with models, with you sailing above in a ship. True Disney Magic. Protip: FastPass this baby. I am so serious. It is beautiful and brilliant but the lines are huge and it is short and I don’t know if I’d like it so much if I had waited for 90 minutes each time.

3. Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin. You get in a rocket and shoot at Emperor Zurg and if you *ahem* score above 300,000 you become a SPACE ACE. Really though, it’s so much fun. And if you’re doing it within an hour or two of when Magic Kingdom closes at night, there’s practically no line and you can just do it over and over and over and DESTROY ALL THE ALIENS RAWWWRRR. *cough*

2. Haunted Mansion. Gorgeous and spooky. We did this ride about a half dozen times and I saw new things each time. It’s so cool.  Protip: When you’re in line and you come to the fork in the road where they tell you to go either left or right because they both go to the same place, go left. It takes longer, but it’s awesome. Make sure you touch everything. *is mysterious*

1. DINOSAUR! I rode this ride like it was going out of style. We would get to the end and I would run the circle back to the front. The ride operators started to recognize me and welcome me back. I loved this ride. It’s a scary time-traveling adventure with dinosaurs and smoke and levels of awesomeness that can’t be transmitted over the internet. Trust me. Dinosaur. Don’t take small children unless you know they’re extra-hearty.

BONUS LEAST FAVORITE RIDE: Tower of Terror. I should have known better. Never again.

Disney World Report, Part 1

So I wrote a “Ciao off to Disney World!” post but uh obviously forgot to post it. So. Hey I’m back! With pictures! Look, there I am in front of Cinderella’s Castle!

Basically, I had a blast. I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Disney World—I knew there were rides, and Disney characters, and fireworks, and… stuff? but yeah. Didn’t really understand what I was getting into. And it’s a hard place to describe to someone who’s never been, because it will sound chintzy or dopey or ridiculous. But then once you’re there… there really just isn’t any place like it. Which, if you hate it, is good because that makes it really easy to avoid. And if you love it then it’s, well, magical.

Sorry, I have the post-vacation blabbers. Let’s try this again.

Disney World! Yeah!

First off, I need to brag that on the Buzz Lightyear ride I went from a paltry 20,000-ish points on the first day to 330,000-ish on the last night which makes me a SPACE ACE. Hells yeah.

But yeah, I didn’t quite understand going in what exactly I was getting into, and frankly I think that’s kind of the best way to do it. It makes it even more wondrous. If someone tries to explain Main Street in the Magic Kingdom, or the magical electrical parade, or the Pirates of the Carribean ride or Maelstrom, it just doesn’t work. How do you explain Peter Pan and do it justice? You just can’t.

And I love that only about half the rides are traditional rides like roller coasters or spinning teacups (LOVE) and then half of them are just you in a thing looking at stuff. Does that sound cool? Not particularly. Is it cool? YES. And even the traditional roller coasters aren’t traditional. They’re themed, they tell stories. They’re magic.

Oh man the brainwashing got me.

There is just so much to do and see and experience. Yes it’s expensive but it is totally worth it, especially when you consider that most days you can be in a park for 10-12 hours. Do you have any idea how many aliens you and Buzz Lightyear can shoot in 10-12 hours? A LOT, let me tell you.

So. Yeah! I guess that’s the immediately-post-vacation thought rumblings. Pardon any incoherence, I’m a bit short on sleep. To recap: it was fantastic, and now I am tan. Lalalala.

I think I’m going to have to make a top-ten rides list, though. Stay tuned.

Preview? One word: DINOSAUR!